Tuesday, October 18, 2011
PS
I can fit into pants I have not been able to fit into and I went shopping two days ago with my friend at the outlets. I actually enjoyed myself and found stuff in smaller sizes that LOOOOOKKKKK GREEEEAAATT! Whoooohooooo. IT IS SO WORTH IT!!
LONG TIME
I have not posted in a long time. I guess I have not been up for it. BUT I have made progress with Isagenix. I started July 5th and I am down 32 pounds as of this AM. That is just under 10 pounds per month. I feel great and people tell me I LOOK GREAT TOO.
I have been slowing down. I feel like I have been shooting myself in the foot. For example the first three months I was able to say no to temptations in order to reach the high goal but as of late (the last three weeks) I have been giving in. Last night I was not hungry but ended up eating left over pasta at 11:30 at night!! NOT COOL. Then I feel HORRIBLE about it--knowing it is not getting me where I want to be.
I wonder if part of it is my reunion hanging over my head. I have my ten year reunion three weeks from now. Part of me wants to go and part of me doesn't. The part that doesn't is because of my weight. I do not want to be judged for my weight OR invisible because of it. I can just picture guys drooling over Colleen just like 10 years ago. I do not think I can handle that. But the part that does want to go thinks it would be fun to catch up with people that I have not seen or prob even thought of in 10 years. IDK. I do not want to get there and have it be a NIGHTMARE! I think that the reason I am having a hard time right now is because this is bothering me under the surface. SNAP OUT OF IT AMY! You have what you need to continue losing weight. You have motivation, you have self-control, you have products that help, you have an exercise program you love. YOU CAN DO IT!
Amy why do you want to lose weight?
So I do not have to dread events where I see a lot of people who have not seen me in a while
Feel more confidant when I go out
So I am able to put myself out there to date
Energy
So I can enjoy shopping again
Look good/feel good
so my body or weight wont stop me from living life to the fullest
So I do not fall into the family NORM. BREAK generational pattern.
I want to inspire others
I do not want to be invisable anymore
Because of this I need to commit to doing it differently. Think about what I am eating and why. Do not fall into the compulsive habit. If hunger is not the symptom food is not the answer! I can eat whatever I want when I am hungry. But though everything is permissible not everything is beneficial.
This time of year is a busy time at work. I need to make time to take care of myself. I need to get enough sleep. Have enough downtime and listen to my body, soul, and mind. When I do not do this and let myself get swept away without checking in I binge and purge. In the spirit of full disclosure, I did binge and purge the weekend of my bday. It was a tough weekend full of emotions I did not want to deal with. Turning 29 is hard. Last year of my twenties. Not where I expected to be in life at age 29... I do not want to get into this now but I have since forgiven myself from the episode and renewed my commitment to not purge. Ok I will check in soon.
I have been slowing down. I feel like I have been shooting myself in the foot. For example the first three months I was able to say no to temptations in order to reach the high goal but as of late (the last three weeks) I have been giving in. Last night I was not hungry but ended up eating left over pasta at 11:30 at night!! NOT COOL. Then I feel HORRIBLE about it--knowing it is not getting me where I want to be.
I wonder if part of it is my reunion hanging over my head. I have my ten year reunion three weeks from now. Part of me wants to go and part of me doesn't. The part that doesn't is because of my weight. I do not want to be judged for my weight OR invisible because of it. I can just picture guys drooling over Colleen just like 10 years ago. I do not think I can handle that. But the part that does want to go thinks it would be fun to catch up with people that I have not seen or prob even thought of in 10 years. IDK. I do not want to get there and have it be a NIGHTMARE! I think that the reason I am having a hard time right now is because this is bothering me under the surface. SNAP OUT OF IT AMY! You have what you need to continue losing weight. You have motivation, you have self-control, you have products that help, you have an exercise program you love. YOU CAN DO IT!
Amy why do you want to lose weight?
So I do not have to dread events where I see a lot of people who have not seen me in a while
Feel more confidant when I go out
So I am able to put myself out there to date
Energy
So I can enjoy shopping again
Look good/feel good
so my body or weight wont stop me from living life to the fullest
So I do not fall into the family NORM. BREAK generational pattern.
I want to inspire others
I do not want to be invisable anymore
Because of this I need to commit to doing it differently. Think about what I am eating and why. Do not fall into the compulsive habit. If hunger is not the symptom food is not the answer! I can eat whatever I want when I am hungry. But though everything is permissible not everything is beneficial.
This time of year is a busy time at work. I need to make time to take care of myself. I need to get enough sleep. Have enough downtime and listen to my body, soul, and mind. When I do not do this and let myself get swept away without checking in I binge and purge. In the spirit of full disclosure, I did binge and purge the weekend of my bday. It was a tough weekend full of emotions I did not want to deal with. Turning 29 is hard. Last year of my twenties. Not where I expected to be in life at age 29... I do not want to get into this now but I have since forgiven myself from the episode and renewed my commitment to not purge. Ok I will check in soon.
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